Corona

Living amidst Corona! The year 2020 has been so bad but alhamdulilah! UGH. I could not have waited to get out of residency. Third year - yeahhh, went fine, going fine, almost there - BAM! CORONA!

Ok, so now that my frustration is out, let's talk about it. So January 2020, Rizwan and I are watching the news on the television about the virus. He says oh it might hit the US and we have flights that might be cancelled. I say hm.. but truly I never understood the depth of those words. Turns February 2020, we hear things are getting bad around the world - still feeling safe at home. March 2020 and schedules of residents change, we're bracing for the worst - anxious but safe.

25th March 2020 - my first day at the hospital after my half-research rotation. There is no visitor line at the security check, everyone around is wearing a surgical mask or a N95. I go in to punch-in and since I was always had an OCD with regular hand-washing, it did not feel any different, however, wearing scrubs did. I go into the elevator and hit 17th floor with my knuckle (still the same for me). Everyone in the elevator is either quiet or talking about the coronavirus. Once on the floor I do not recognize any face because every face is hidden behind a mask, then a face shield. Nurses are in scrubs topped with yellow gowns, feet covered with shoe covers and the head covered too. Makes me think sometimes whether this is an eye-opener for those who spoke about face/head covers and bans - I know, thinking afar but still.. As I enter the resident room, all my colleagues are in masks too! That's when I realized how naked I was. I asked for a mask from the nurses who sent me all the way to the second floor and gave me so much attitude while I asked for a PPE. These are managers who do not need to see patients and give attitude to healthcare workers who need PPE to see COVID + patients! Anywho, intubated three patients, sent four patients to the ICU. That was day 1. Came home traumatized. You see, one patient was intubated but the nurses on the floor are med-surge nurses so they do not understand the concept of sedating a patient while they are intubated. Well, let me rephrase that, they do understand the need of sedating the patient but they are not trained for that as these medications can also drop the blood pressure of the patient so there is a narrow window for adequate sedation with good pressure control - and for this, you need to make frequent trips to the patient's bedside to 'titrate' the medication. If this titration is inadequate, the patient can not be sedated enough and may end up being awake, fighting the tube and 'self-extubate' themselves. That's what happened in one patient, her oxygenation started dropping to 50% and she became unresponsive. The chaos that I witnessed haunted me for the rest of the day.

But I told myself more is coming and worse is yet to come. So brace yourself as I need to decongest my thoughts.